Bah. I’m spinning.

I want to get a hold of all of these ideas and stop building castles in the sky, but I am having a hell of a time outlining everything. I feel like if I really make plans for all the stuff I’m thinking of, my life would be ridiculously regimented and I’m not sure if that’s healthy for me, regardless of my intentions.

So I am stuck, yet again, in paralysis by analysis land.

I am not getting my work done. I am trying to do better about my fitness. I don’t feel like I’m moving forward. Which is part of the reason I started this account… I kept over-thinking everything and expanding things into intricate, unmanageable knots.

Strict regime + perfectionist with OCD-tendencies = bad news, right?

I need to figure out how to move forward. I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like I have been in this same cycle every day. Wake up, have grand plans about accomplishing stuff, tread water, weave my web until I get tangled in it, the sun sets, I feel like shit, I feel like my mind is trapped in a tiny box and I need my ideas to expand past that to have vision, I lose sight, I give up for the night and tell myself I’ll figure it out tomorrow. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

How can I give up again tonight? How many times can I give up?